Tomorrow .....

Tomorrow is Kody's first echocardiogram in 6 months.  Should I admit I am nervous of what it will find this time?  Okay so I just admitted that.  His appointment is at 1pm which means we leave out before then because it takes time to get to the hospital.  This time Will stays behind because there are things to do at home.  Kody asked what appointment it was and I said Cardiology and he was like "Oh the one for my heart."  When I mention the appointment to Will he was like "This is the biggie which gives us more information and gives us a better outlook."  I weigh things that go on ... the known and unknown ... but sometimes with this disease I don't know what is worse.  Do you want a time table or do you want to not expect things?  He is tired of being sick and tired of being restricted.  What brightens the time he is interacting with me is his smile.  No matter what is said and done he smiles a lot.  Sometimes I wonder what is going on in his head and what are the things he chooses not to disclose.